Contra Mozilla

Monday, July 29, 2013

Loneliness: Better Than Being Alone?

Abigail Reimel asks the musical question for singles:  "And, after all, if the guy [or girl] is enjoyable enough to be friends with, why wouldn’t he be enjoyable to date?" The question reminds me a bit of my college days, and in particular of the mindset of many of the girls I knew then, in that it is essentially the opposite of their approach. I hung out mostly with a Protestant crowd then, but I guess I've seen this with some of the Catholics I've known too, an attitude which says that it's good to just not date for a while. I can't tell you how many of the young ladies I knew would say that they were "Taking a year off from dating" or "Taking a year off for the Lord": these "year offs" often ended up being  four years, or (sometimes) ended up being only a matter of months (and then dating some other guy). Being rejected is one thing, and it hurts even more if their was some leading-on prior to the rejection, but being lied to is what really kills the relationship.

Reimel actually gives some good advice in the post, especially the bit about women needing to guard their hearts. This at least parallels the advice to men that they should keep custody of their eyes.

And I've always held that men and women, even unmarried men and women, can be "just friends" without ever becoming romantically involved. Still, it's always worth asking why a person who makes a good friend wouldn't also make a good husband or wife. Answers to that question do exist, by the way, but it seems to me like they're often not sought, and it also seems like most of those answers are the sorts which preclude any romantic relationship anyway.

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